Fiction – Solitaire

The screen flickers to life as fantastical music began bellowing from it. The harmony hearkened back to a golden age, where men were men and giants walked the earth. The image zoomed into focus on a woman, wearing a glistening dark plum suit and a ruffled blouse beneath it. She smiled as the camera closed in, her eyes narrowing behind her sharp spectacles.

“Welcome all to Solitaire!,” she crooned, “The first ever club of its kind to cater to the super powered and the super dangerous. Prior to tonight, clubs like Ace or the Iceberg Lounge would have capes of all types in their doors and, inevitably, a super brawl breaks out.”

The image cuts to a video of Ace, half rubble and half on fire. Her voice continued, “BLAMO! You didn’t see it coming, but there you have it, your club is in ruins and your finances take an even bigger hit. You get a bill for $3,900 in repairs, just to start, and the insurance company is knocking on your door. Yeesh. Solitaire to eliminate those anxieties by keeping the safety of the clients and employees in mind.”

The woman on the recording smiles, as she gestures to the opulent facade. Four suits of cards in bright lights with the cursive name of the bar scrawled afterward. The walls bright white and glowing in the darkened city streets. She walks into the doors with the camera following every heeled step she takes. Her suit glimmering in the light, radiating and blanching out others in the shot.

“These walls are made of a special alloy crafted by the R&D team at Neutron Fabrication. We have them tested against the alien strength of Amazeman, the heat of Dr. Deathraise’s laser cannons, and the cold of Polar Cortex’s cryonic abilities.”

She walks further into the facility, revealing a massive bar of crystal and steel, Beverages of all kind lined the shelves, only rivaled by the variety of crystal glassware.

“Don’t worry, while the booze is absolutely breakable, the glassware isn’t. They are made with nanotech crystal. Beautiful to behold, and durable. Even a god would have to try and break these,” she said with a smile, pausing for just a moment, “We do have a set in the back that are breakable for Jewish wedding services.”

She sat down at the head of one of the poker tables toward the back of the club, the first and second floors had a variety of games to play, and the sound of the machines, while loud, did not drown her out. She adjusted her glasses, smiled, and continued, “ We have an assortment of other failsafes in this facility. We have a quantum uncertainty engine to prevent teleportation and other physics defying nonsense from happening within the confines of these walls. Not to mention an advanced security system made by Obsidian Forest in the event of a brawl or theft. While we’re proud of these accomplishments, we hope to never use them. We want a safe location for all super power beings to enjoy in a rapturous venue to rival that of the Halls of Olympus. We open tomorrow, come on down and see what fate has dealt you, here at Solitaire.”

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